


Perish, and Perish Again

by Betwixt__t



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Blood, Gen, Temporary Character Death, Time Loop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 11:13:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29452857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Betwixt__t/pseuds/Betwixt__t
Summary: They relive the same ten years, over and over and over again, Merlin’s first day in Camelot on one end and the terrible fields of Camlann bookending the other. But at least they are together, the three of them. At least they have that.
Relationships: Freya & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Perish, and Perish Again

**Author's Note:**

> My beta reader made a noise like a rodent being stepped on while reading this, so, uh... fair warning.

Just a few more feet... just a few... his hands are soaked in blood and the lake is right there, Freya can help him, Freya’s always been able to fix it before-

Arthur lets out a shuddering breath in his arms, and his chest does not rise again. The red drips slowly down, down to the ground... Merlin desperately presses down on the wound, trying to call up what little healing magic he’s ever had, but it’s too little, too late-

“Again?” Arthur sighs, disappointed, but reaches down to help him up from the dusty market road where they begin, where they always begin, Merlin’s first day in Camelot on one end and the terrible fields of Camlann bookending the other. The knights behind him who just seconds ago saw Arthur put him squarely in his place seem confused, but no one else in the market has noticed anything amiss.

Arthur pulls him into a tight hug because he always needs a hug after Camlann - Arthur has the easy job. He just has to bleed out. Merlin has to watch him do it.

“Can we try the pyre ghost plan again?” Arthur asks as they pull apart. Merlin smiles and shakes his head.

“Setup’s too precise, and I absolutely hate it when I mess up the fire resistance spell and we immediately reset. Morgana to druids plan?”

Arthur grimaces. “We’d have to play with the timing. Too soon and Uther gets suspicious, too late and she’s already corrupted.”

Merlin sighs, stepping back and scrubbing a hand through his oddly short hair - he’d been growing it out before Camlann, trying to see if minor changes had any effect on destiny. So far, no. “Well, first thing’s first. Let’s call Freya.”

Trailing two confused knights, they turned as one to head back to the castle where a mad king rules once more.

—

“Hey, Freya,” Arthur sighs, slouching down in his chair. Merlin had run off to put together their supplies for the trip to the cave, and he’s left alone with the scrying pool.

“Hey, Arthur,” echoes up from the splash of faintly glowing water at the bottom of the bowl, “You doing alright?”

He chuckles and runs a hand down his face. “Same as usual, or thereabouts. Though getting the Mortaeus flower before Bayard even arrives will be a weight off my mind.” They sit in silence for a moment, he high in his castle, she deep in her lake, before he speaks again. “Does it bother you that you don’t come back? Everyone else, even Merlin and I, we... we’re exactly the same as we were the first time through. But you... you never get to leave your lake.”

The water sloshes a bit as she chuckles, specks of light tossed about the room. “Oh, no, trying to fit all of this back into a mortal form? Perish the thought. I wouldn’t go back to my monstrous nights for anything, nor give up my lovely lake kingdom.”

He nods, smirking a bit - she might have Merlin fooled, but between them they know they’re each as power hungry as the other.

“Do you think it grates on Merlin? I know the dead are serene, O Lady of the Lake, but us mortals get... tired, eventually, living the same ten years over and over and over. It would almost be better if it was just one day - then you couldn’t build an entire kingdom only to see it vanish.”

Freya is silent for a short while. “No. Merlin... he’d be immortal anyway, even outside this strange stretch of broken time. I think it’s... a relief, honestly, to him, that he doesn’t have to go through the endless years alone.”

Arthur drapes his hand over his eyes, lips tilting up in a tiny, tired smile. “I suppose I can understand that.”

Neither of them speak again until the candles have burned down nearly to nubs.

“Good night, Arthur,” echoes up quietly from the bowl, and the light fades away.

“Good night, Freya,” he whispers back, and the candles gutter out.


End file.
